Fair warning, this one is very personal and a bit negative but we all have those days, right.
I'm so tired of being broke. I never thought I would be here again. My husband was laid off in Jan last year (last day). We lost our insurance and everything. 3 months later I was fired when the baby was 4 weeks old for abandoning my position and lost my truck, our family vehicle. I've tried to find a lawyer but can't get a call back. My unemployment ran out first week of December. Husband makes $8 on a temp job that has only continued because of luck. We haven't gone out in a year unless someone takes us. We have enough to pay rent next month but not our bills. If I don't start working we will have to move in with family in February. I feel like a failure as a parent. I should be able to take care and provide for my kids and I can't. I've had to ask family for help. I just want this nightmare to be over. I grew up and got responsible and for nothing because I'm losing my shit anyway.
Our rent house has flooded 3 times this year and has mold but we can't move without going to a family member's house. I'm glad they are there for us but I'm almost 40. I shouldn't be doing this anymore. Took forever to get a good man and we can't catch a break. To top it off I've had abdominal pain for a week and can't see a doctor. I am hungry because we can't buy enough food (but I make sure the kids have plenty, they will always have if I have to sell everything I own). I've applied for food stamps which I'm embarrassed about but it's taking forever to process. I'm just defeated and tired. I love my kids and family more than anything. They are my world and deserve everything. This time last year I was able to give them anything but now we struggle for everything. They say it gets better and once you hit bottom you have to come back up. They say karma treats you as you treat others. So why aren't things better or getting better? We are good people that are always there for others and willing to work. So why are we in this position? I know we aren't alone but it feels like we are. People say so many jobs have been created. Then why can't I find one? I have experience and some college. I'm professional and friendly and great with paperwork. The honest starve while the dishonest drive Cadillacs and live off welfare, that's why. I've always felt like a good parent and, right now, I don't, and that's what hurts the most
Rant over.
